I think that's what is happening to me here. Life is such a different thing. For the most part, I'm alot happier than I've ever been.

I'm getting a promotion any day now. To Vice President of Web Services. I accidentally caught the delivery of business cards and there it was. MY name with THAT title. Fuck yeah.

Rob and I are getting along well in regards to Brendan and the impending divorce we will be filing next year after taxes are done. We've settled everything that was ever between us and try our best to settle everything else in a calm manner because no matter what, Brendan's well being comes first. I'm suprised to say the least, given everything I've posted here about him and how nasty he is.

No, that's not me changing how I feel about him. I'll never go back, or even look that direction with regret in my leaving. Its the best decision I've ever made for myself. Its just odd how things finally moved forward in a positive way.

I'm living with my girlfriends now. Dessie and Shan. Its been such a trip. At first it was hard. I moved out of my own apartment, that I got myself, to move in and be a roommate and having to share space that I previously guarded selfishly.

Then we adjusted. Got to know each others personalities. More so, me learning theirs better and them learning mine, and all has been well since. We've had alot of GREAT times. Going to Mexico together-- with Stacey and Jeff as well-- then going to California for Thanksgiving. Living here in this apartment has been great. I <3 my girls. Stacey muchly included, even though she lives in BF-fuckin-E from us.

The guy situation-- because anyone that does read this knows it's been a pedomiant issue-- has not changed. Yeah, you'd think that I'd be all gushy and happy because suddenly I finally found a guy for my life.

That's not been the case.

I've come into my own as a person. As a woman. As an independant person who does of her own free will.

The desparate search to fill the spot in my empty bed, the constant late nights wishing on stars and gods alike that someone wonderful would fall into my lap, has disappated and been carried away on the winter breezes.

I'm not sad about it anymore. I don't fret about going to sleep without anyone to curl up to. It just doesn't matter like it once did not that long ago.

One day, I'd love to have someone, of course. Its not about finding someone so I can put my needs for happiness on their shoulders.

Its about enhancement, sharing space, time, laughter, tears and all the things in between as a part of the life I already lead.

And that lesson that I've learned has been the most important of all and I'm glad to have made this trip on my own, without anyone holding me back.

Its still going, and probably always will. The day I stop learning about myself and the world around me is the day my ashes are scattered to the wind.

There are still down days, those come and go. But on the whole, things are so, so much better than they were a few months ago.

I'm happy. And I can say that without the smallest thought in the back of my mind that its a lie.

So I leave you with this quote Shan sent me because it made me laugh:

A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a TRUE friend will be sitting beside you saying, "Damn, we fucked up!".

Bye and see you soon.

<3 Kat.