I went to the bathroom. Stood there in a black stall, the metal so shiny that I could see myself in it. Putting my face in my hands, telling myself to get a grip. Not to freak out and let anyone know I'm anything but calm, cool and collected.

After all the voices in the bathroom floated out the door with their incessant gossip and laughter, I thought I was alone. I walked out of the stall and litterally jumped to see this obese woman standing at the sink making a call on her cell phone.

Standing there in her gawdy brown floral print dress and heels that probably came from Payless, she was talking on the phone alternately about how the counters in the bathroom were like the ones she was getting for her kitchen and how she was going to kick her children's asses if they didn't behave.

She never really noticed me, which was good. When I looked in the mirror I looked two steps away from complete insanity. There was a wild look in my eyes, like I was going to start screaming at any minute.

Washed my hands, took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom. Down the long hall back to the bar.

I sat quietly in my uncomfortable chair for another ten minutes, the thought in my head on repeat saying, "You need to go. Get out of here now. Get away. Just drive somewhere else."

Finally I say I need to get out of there and get food somewhere. I'm suddenly starving like I've never eaten before in my life.

Off to Denny's. Coffee, talking to my friends, staying there till 3. Coming home and writing the previous entry.