I think that's why I sleep less and less these days. Becoming acutely aware of how fast everything is slipping by me, yet still so wrapped up in my own world that I can't break away for a minute to appreciate things.

Sometimes I wish I were much more articulate than this. Wishing to some god of the dictionary, so that I could explain to everyone around me, everyone that reads this, how much everything means to me. How important things really are to me, even when I seem like the biggest space case in the world.

In face to face conversation, I'm the biggest flake you'll ever meet. I get tongue tied and lost in my head. Swimming around in the right words, yet pulling the wrong ones out.

Seems that lately, I'm doing that in here too. I've lost my expressive edge.

In the last week I've been very ill. Violently, gut wrenching ill. Moving through the day like a zombie, trying to get past the waves of nausea that come over me, trying to sweep me away. Everything inside of me knotted until there is no beginning or end to any of it.