Just moving from room to room in my apartment, opening the few windows I have so the smell of it can fill the place, to soothe me and take away my worries.

Its the only time I don't feel alone in all this. When the sky opens up and pours down the tears I can't shed on my own anymore. Nature telling me it will all be okay with its grey embrace.

This is when I feel the most alive, everything is at its most real point.

Everything that upset me last night, or the day before and before that doesn't really matter when its raining, when its threatening to rain. The skies cry out in their own brand of terrible pain because they are just as neglected as I have been before. Not many people look up to appreciate what's above them, what's fostered them and given them life.

This weather gives me life. Breathing its dampness into me. All I have to do is lay back and feel the breeze over my body, let the water come down into my hair. It washes away all the sin, pain, anger and things I loathe about myself in a way that soap cannot.